How To Receive The Relationship You Want
To receive the relationship you really want with another you first need to be in a loving, respectful relationship with yourself.
Every relationship is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.
The more you love, value, appreciate and accept yourself the more love, value, appreciation and acceptance you will receive from others. The more you deny and discount yourself, the more denied and discounted you will feel in your relationships with others.
To attempt to improve your relationship with another by trying to change, manipulate, or persuade that other person to be more of what you want proves futile, frustrating and ultimately humiliating.
Your relationships with others must improve as you improve your relationship with yourself, and this begins by being aware of that first, primary, foundational relationship which is the relationship between you and you.
To really be there for yourself means first and foremost being aware of yourself. From awareness you can ask yourself what you need from yourself.
The one thing we all need from ourselves is compassionate acknowledgement of how we feel. A compassionate relationship with yourself means that you are willing to be completely in touch with how you feel. It means allowing yourself to feel all of your feelings, however painful or uncomfortable they might be.
Being in a loving, harmonious, intimate relationship with another is natural to us. So if we are not experiencing that we are holding ourselves back from it, based on our belief in our unworthiness for it.
You can declare all day long that you want to be in a loving, close relationship with someone, but if it is not happening for you, on a deeper level you are declaring, albeit silently and perhaps even secretly to yourself, that you are not ready. This inner conflict creates conflict in your relationship with others.
To the degree that someone seems to be withholding love from you, you are withholding it from yourself.
If it seems that someone is being deeply hurtful toward you, you are being deeply hurtful toward yourself in some way, and until you resolve that you will continue to experience pain in your relationship with that other person.
If you are feeling alone and shut out from another, you are isolating yourself from yourself and shutting yourself out from yourself.
The healing of your relationship with yourself takes place as you open your feelings to that relationship and acknowledge the relationship for what it is. The moment you do this the relationship starts to change, it softens, it opens and you will feel more deeply, completely and harmoniously connected with yourself.
As you address the fears that form feelings of resistance to the close relationship that you want you will begin to feel more open to actually having that relationship, which brings it into your experience.
No one is denied the kind of relationship they want by the outside world. It is not a matter of there being no good men or good women out there, nor that “all of the good ones are taken.” It has nothing to do with one’s age, appearance, financial situation or other statistical data.
Your relationships with others are reflections of your relationship with yourself. Become more open, loving and connected with yourself and you will find those qualities expanding in your relationships with others.
The Method is the only truly effective tool that I have found for releasing ourselves from the painful inner conflict patterns that poduce conflict in our relationship with others. The most important relationship you want to receive is a truly loving, wonderful one with yourself. Using The Method helps you to achieve (or retrieve) that very quickly.