Signs That You Depend Too Much
On Others For Your Happiness
Do you depend too much on others for your happiness? If you find yourself locked in strife with another person, you do. That is just one of several signs that you depend too much on others for your happiness.
When you find yourself worrying about what someone else is going to do, and how that may impact you, see that as a sign that you are depending too much on others for your happiness.
If you are willing to hurt, to betray, to take advantage of another to satisfy your desire for happiness with someone else, you are counting way too much on the person you want for your happiness.
Depending too much on another person for your happiness guarantees your disappointment, frustration and feeling of betrayal because that person simply cannot come through for you. Happiness is something you need to bring to a relationship for it to work.
When you find yourself feeling frustrated, annoyed, impatient or betrayed in reaction to another person, take that as a sign that you are depending too much on the wrong person for your happiness.
The wrong person to depend upon for your happiness is anyone but you.
You are responsible for feeling in your full power, in a state of inner harmony, clarity and contentment. The more you live in that state the more things work out for you and the better you get along with others. The more you live outside that state the more you find yourself working harder and accomplishing less of any real meaning to you, and the more struggle and strife you experience in your relationships.
Whomever you give your attention to you give your power to. When you worry about what someone else is up to you give that person too much of your power – you give that person the power to determine your internal states. That is why you feel weak, powerless and insecure when you worry about what someone else might do to hurt you.
The only time to think of someone is from what we can call the “right state” for thought. That is the state of inner harmony, inner peace and clarity. That state is the foundation for creating order in your life and it is absolutely necessary for harmonious, rich, rewarding, satisfying relationships.
Anyone who can knock you off your emotional balance is showing you how much more you need to focus on maintaining your balance no matter what anyone else may be doing. You need to strengthen your inner peace.
To do this, hold your attention on how you are feeling. Feel all of your pain, or as much of it as you can take. Then, realize that this pain is a learned pattern. The other person is not making you feel this way, just showing you how you have always felt deep down inside.
The next step is to feel compassion for yourself for carrying around this learned pattern of emtional pain. Feel this loving compassion for yourself as deeply as you felt the pain. Then, feel a sense of your self-value. Feeling loving appreciation for yourself as deeply as you felt that pain. (This is a shortend application of The Method for Relationship Healing. For a more complete description of the steps, go to www.lovethemethod.com.)
If you count on circumstances or on other people to make you feel okay you will feel hopelessly let down and taken advantage of. You will feel bullied, victimized and lose respect for yourself.
Counting on you for your happiness does not mean going it alone in life. By all means reach out for support when you need it, but don’t struggle to get what you need from someone unable or unwilling to give it. Don’t try to get something from someone whom you first need to change.
You don’t need to change anyone but you by making how you feel your first order of business. You need to feel emotionally balanced, secure, and empowered to find loving relationships with others.
Couples who conflict the most consist of two people who count on other people too much. They count on others to rescue them from themselves emotionally and often financially as well.
As you become more emotionally self-reliant you will find yourself feeling less and less inclined to engage in conflict with others and demonstrate more self-sufficiency.
The Method is a phenomenal tool for quickly freeing ourselves from the inner patterns of excessive dependency that seem to keep us trapped in relationships with others who cannot seem to come through for us.